Through Buckner's Legs

In some professions, it’s okay to be hammered on the job. I am a bar back at a night club and I’m routinely intoxicated. All I do is replace bottles and stock beer, so the ability to concentrate is unnecessary.

In other professions, it’s not acceptable to drink on the job. For example, let’s say you’re an NBA Player. Shooting free throws, dribbling, playing defense, sprinting up and down the court without face planting, and not vomiting, each of these require focus.

Drinking alcohol impairs these abilities… do you hear that, Ron Artest?

In an interview with the Sporting News magazine this week, Artest announced “ I used to drink Hennessy … at halftime.”

Did he used to smoke weed during timeouts too?

The funniest thing about this revelation is that it is far from the craziest thing he’s ever done.  Ron Artest news stories aren’t even exciting anymore because one can always say “well, it’s still not as extreme as that time he ran into the stands and pummeled fans!”

Artest could murder puppies or show up to a Laker game naked and our perception  of him still wouldn’t change. Artest is insane. End of story.

The more important question is how does one get away with drinking during an NBA game? Who coached the Bulls from 1999-2002, John Daly? Wouldn’t it be hard to conceal a bottle of liquor?

“Hey Ron, do you mind putting down the Hennessey for a sec? We’re having a halftime speech here!”